Readings and Other, Nov 21

Ok a reminder to everyone that they are to bring 2 (two) copies of their analytical essays for peer edits on Nov 28. Remember what happened last time when you didn't? Come on! Go Team Peer Edit! Ya!
Secondly, my section 8 (9:30) class is being reviewed by John Gundmunson. Please show up and participate. Here are the readings for this week. Please PRINT OUT DOUBLE SPACED; we are focuing on tightening this week so keep that in mind.
And one last thing, homework is: paraphrase, summary and quotes from the previous week's articles. Please remember to hand it in and if there are any questions please email me at atucker@faulty.ocad.ca. Here are the readings!

Serial Killer Essay (our old friend)
From the Night Stalker to the Son of Sam to Jack the Ripper, serial killer have struck fear in the hearts of many. Their senseless actions have bewildered many psychiatrists. Varied people have asked exactly what goes on inside the mind of a murderer, but no one knows for sure. It has however been found that most serial killers have physiological problems that can be traced back to scarring incidences in their childhood.
A serial killer is defined as a person who murders several people over a period of time, then relapses into hiding only to continue killing months, years, even decades later. They go in cycles and work alone. The majority are male, 25 to 35 years old with average to high intelligence. They tend to be very methodical and well prepared. They often appear very normal, with a wife and kids and come from various ranges of social classes. Their victims differ to each of their interests. Most of all they like to extend the suffering of their victims longer, often as part of their twisted fantasies.
John Wayne Gacy was a notorious serial killer in the late seventies. He was in large a well known and respected business man who enjoyed dressing up like a clown and entertaining the youngsters at various city events. Consequently beneath his “nice guy” attitude raged a psychopath. Gacy targeted males, usually Asian, kidnapped them and brought them back to his home. There, he would torture and sexually molest the boys before slaughtering them and burying them in the crawl space under his house. He committed similar acts to over thirty different victums. In 1988, he was charged with 21 life imprisonments and 12 death sentences. He was lethally injected in 1994. Underlying, Gacy’s father beat him as a young child and called him a “sissy”. He suffered a head injury when he was young that made him subject to black outs. Gacy, until his death blamed him childhood problems for the murders he committed.
Does childhood abuse relate to a person’s mental capabilities later in life? Charles Manson was neglected and mentally tortured when he was a child. Jeffery Dahmer, who when he was young mutilated animals, confessed to killing his first person at age eighteen. He was molested by a neighbor when he was eight years old. At the time of Dahmer’s first murder his parents were fresh off a divorce. When psychologically tested, Ted Bundy admitted he was a “disturbed child.” These murderers all have one trait that links them: childhhod problems.
In a pole found on the Internet, when the public was asked what they thought influenced a killer more, genetics or childhood, 76% said the childhood. In a study of 36 serial killers 28 said that they daydreamed or compulsively masturbated as children. 22 said that they wet the bed and 24 reported having nightmares. In 50% of the cases the biological dad left before he ws twelve and almost all admittted to destructive childhood behavior. (ie. vandalism, setting fires, animal abuse etc...)
Despite these statistics, a traumatic childhood alone does not create a killer. In a lot of cases, though a killer has some type of brain disorder and may hear voices. They can have a hard time distinguishing reality from the dream-like state in wich they live. Some kill because of the fame that it brings them; the media tends to love a sensational murder and the killer can often be glorified. Even some killers admit to being in satanic cults. Richard Ramirez, the infamous “Night Stalker”, drew satanic symbols on his palms for his murder trials. Charles Manson worshiped Satan. Most serial killers just feel an uncontrollable urge to kill. Edmund Kemper was quoted as saying, “It was an urge.... A strong urge, and the longer I let it go the stronger it got.” They need to kill like our bodies need water.
Serial killers frequently have more than one psychological disorder. But are they monsters or simply victims of a tragic upbringing? If so is that any excuse for the horrible crimes they commit? Numerous people would say that childhood should not be used as a fallback but simply a factor in the sick and twisted minds that control serial killers.


And a handy handout!
How to be Concise…

The word concise comes from the French concidere meaning to ‘cut up, cut down’. In its present form it means “to give a lot of information clearly and in few words.” (OED)

The word specific means “clearly defined and identified.” (OED)

If we combine the meanings of the two words and the French translation of concise, we end up with a picture of “clarity” in writing. Defining and identifying information clearly and in few words often requires “cutting up” or “cutting down” what we’ve already written in order to make sure that ideas come through in the most direct way possible. Again, tightening is crucial to clarity.

Editing for Concision

1. Top things to look for:

• Look for redundant words. If you are unsure about a word, read the sentence without it; if the meaning is not affected, leave the word out.

• Take out empty words: angle, area, aspect, case, character, element, factor, field, kind, nature, scope, situation, type.

• Take out empty modifiers: absolutely, awesome, awfully, central, fine, great, literally, major, quite, really, very.

• Replace wordy phrases with a single word. Instead of because of the fact that, try because.

• Avoid the phrase I think that…


2. Is when, is where, reason…is because

Although you will often hear expressions such as home is where the heart is in everyday use, these constructions are illogical and thus are inappropriate in academic or professional writing.

• A stereotype is when someone characterizes a group. unfairly.
• A stereotype is an unfair characterization of a group.

• The reason I like to play soccer is because it provides aerobic exercise.



3. Balancing general and specific diction

Effective writers balance general words (those that name groups or classes) with specific words (those that identify individual and particular things). Abstractions, which are types of general words, refer to things we cannot perceive through our five senses. Specific words are often concrete, naming things we can see, hear, touch, taste, or smell.

GENERAL LESS GENERAL SPECIFIC MORE SPECIFIC

book dictionary abridged 1996 editon of
dictionary Webster’s Colligiate
Dictionary


ABSTRACT LESS ABSTRACT CONCRETE MORE CONCRETE

culture visual art painting Van Gogh’s Starry
Night


4. Example of Concision
Problem Sentence:
"The reason I like writing is because it allows me to express myself in various ways and I feel I can show my opinion without worrying about what others think of me."
This statement is unacceptable for the following reasons: 1. It needs tightening. "The reason I like writing is because" is especially wordy. 2. "various ways" tells me nothing about you as a writer, or what these “ways” are. 3. “I can show my opinion” tells me nothing about how one would "show" one's opinion. 4. "what others think" is actually a statement about audience yet it does not address the concept of audience at all.
Correction:
"Writing gives me an outlet to critically explore a topic, an opinion or an ideology through different lenses, allowing me to critically examine my own views in an analytical manner."
Notice how I've taken one key idea that was very general in the first statement and explored it further in its own sentence. The second sentence is still somewhat broad but it focuses more clearly on key points about you as a writer, which can be explored in the following sentences. Essentially what I've created here is a topic sentence that can be spun out over the course of a paragraph. The first version of the sentence was doing too much and while I can infer meaning from it, I am actually filling in the blanks for you, which will lose you big marks on the upcoming assignments.
Handout courtesy of Jenny Sampirisi


Thanks !